Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Blog can make money? (Part 1)

Blah! Gimme a break. I've already been blogging for one year and I'm still driving a car that's been registered last centuty. You think I dont fancy burning rubber down the highway in a Porsche 911? Let me tell you the story why I dont buy that crap.

Let me begin by saying that I'm no computer geek, though I do love surfing the net and read other people's web site, but would never have thought I'd one day be the author of a website, let alone making some bread out of it. So it struck me like a thunderbolt when I read an ad that say something to this effect: Be fabulously rich even though you know nothing of computer by attending a FREE seminar......... Geesh, I wish I could end that sentence with "and the rest is history", but not yet, hear me out as this is not going to take a whole afternoon.

One week later, I was sitting in a meeting room with 40 or so millionnaire wannabes, wide-eyed and lending our ears most gratefully to a thirty something dude from... I cant remember where. As he spoke on the wonder of internet and how thousands of people had make a bundle selling something, we were transported to a fantasy world where struggling to pay home mortgage, car instalment, or whatever debt one has is a thing of the past, and life from then on is the sound of champagne glasses clinking, and family members' laughters beside your private swimming pool on a lazy monday afternoon and so on. However we were brought down to earth temporarily with the announcement that we have to pay Malaysian Ringgit One Thousand Four Hundred only to have the privilage of making this dream a reality, and seat availabity is extremely limited for this three-day life-changing seminars. Simple rationale dictated that an investment of forteen hundred bucks that net untold millions all attendees be falling over each other to sign up. The poor clerk at the sign up desk, she lost four ball pens, had her hair tousled and most certainly missed her lunch, much to the satisfaction of her boss. We were told to congregate again in two weeks time, together with a few hundred of like minded visionaries like us.


Indeed it was a day to look forward to! On the appointed day, there was an air of excitement as about two hundred of us milled outside the conference hall, as the huge mahogany doors of the hall was flung open, triumphant music was trumpeted as we trooped in to take up our seats. Men, women, retirees, teenagers clapping hand and giving standing ovation at the entrance of a group of internet gurus, about ten in all, all expert in their field, blogging expert, search engine experts, adsense experts and all the goblydygook. As the emcees introduce them one by one, our spirits higher than Discovery spacecraft. This it is! We're going to be RICH!!!


Finally, after much fanfare in introducing the speakers and the mandatory round of motivational double speak (which I consider as crap as I was impatient for the real stuff to come out), we got down to business. The first to speak was Raymond Tan, the dude who enticed us to part the forteen hundred for this session. As he spoke, we were again tranported to a world of internet wizardry of making money online. But wait, why is this dude droning on and on with what sound like a sale pitch? Where's the beef, I asked myself hoping that it would come in the end. But nol. The whole presentation was a descriptive on how to make money on line and not a hands-on, show-it-to-you-now intruction. "And to know how to actually hands-on step-by-step make money on line, please go to the sales desk outside this room and report your intention to my assistant Michelle" (or was it Tiffany?) The heck I will sign up. We still have Ben and Adam, and Terence Tan, Fabian Lim, Patric Chan, and the super duper guru of them all, Stephen Pierce, who flew half the globe away from the US.


Next, was Fabian Lim, a Singaporean magician turn internet guru, who tout his achievenmet obtaining a pilot licence in a record time of 30 day(?). Big Deal. But surpringly this guy, I dont know, he must have cast a magical spell on us attendees that by the end of his presentation, a mini stampede was seen at the sign up desk for his course, and each aspirant to his magic formula to wealth must cough up Ringgit Malaysian Two thousand something only. End of Day One.


By now, it had dawn on me that we were actually paying to listen to advertisement sales pitches cleverly disguised in a kind of "Three-day-Seminar". And this was made profoundly clear to me as the "seminar" progressed, as you can see as you read on.


Day two was pretty much the same as one sales presentation follow another by different speaker and everytime at the end of the presentation, another round of melee crowded the sign up desk. Imagine a throng of frenzied men and women crowding a table 4' x 3' and you know what I mean. The kiasu mentality is not the monopoly of Singaporean, I guess we Malaysain share the same gene as them.


(to be continued)

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Eagerly waiting for part 2. The suspend is getting unbearable. Forget the shampoo girls and get to it.

funnymayhem said...

Hahaha!!!
I know who you are!!!
Yeah, part two is coming up soon, its a description of my odeyssy in this cyberspace wonderland, how I got lost, and how some kind samaritans and put me on the right track....its gonna be a tear-jerker, so get your kleenex ready!

FH2o said...

Yeah! Why are we waiting?

Nice read - do carry on! ;)

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