You can't call yourself a true-blue Siburian unless....

1. Your first stop upon arriving back in Sibu is to make a beeline for
Ang kow's kampua mee.

2. You have 60 friends with the names like Ah Nong or Ah Teh.

3. You consider sitting in coffee shop for 4 hours firing cannons with
Ah Nongs and Ah Tehs is not wasting time, but networking.

4. You sit down in a coffee shop and expect the waiter to remember you
order everytime, (it's "mien tai peng").

5. You whip out your tube of nose decongestant and stick it up your hairy
nostril, and leave it hanging there nonchalantly for all the world to see.

6. You sit cross-leg on the chair, picking your toe nails
intermittently, while waiting for your buddies to come.

7. One plate of kampua is not enough to whet your appitite (spelling?),
you have to take two plates.

7(a). For you, the best char mien (fried noodle) is the legendary Ah
Ngie's, unfortunately he'd kicked the bucket already. For you, Ah Ngie's
char mien is benchmark for all Sibu's char mien.

7(b). You can "gaaarg...ptuiiiiiii" anywhere you like, Sibu is a
spitter's paradise.

7(c). When you finish smoking, you flick the butt at a passing dog/cat

7(c) You hate Robert Lau till your gut spilt, yet you shake hand and
smile at him during election campaign.

8. Your car is parked only one spit away, even though it is blocking
others.

9. You consider hairs growing from facial moles as sacred and never to
be trimmed.

10. You know the country phone codes of PNG, Brazil, Solomon Island, Russia and Central Africa but don't know the one for Singapore.

11. You buy "Compact" toilet rolls by the hundreds when its super
duper cheap.

11(a) You surely have one or two relative who is still staying in "sam
pah" (forest) like Sungei Meelook, or Aleemah or whatever.

12. You pack cartons of "kompia" when you go home overseas, (or even
Kuching, like me).