1. You begin every sentence with "Sah ni koo..."
2. You wear gold necklace and bracelet as thick as "tik lien" (iron
chain)(credit to John for reminding me).
2(a) You wear ten rings on each finger, and each stone on it is as big
as ostrich egg.
3. You wear "Umbrella" brand (Arnold Palmer) collar t-shirt with loud
colour horizontal stripes, and loose fitting "Camel" shorts (or is it
pants?) with two dozen pockets of varying sizes. You bought them at Ngiu
Kee just before Chinese New Year, and will last you till the next CNY,
meaning your buy new apparels once a year only.
4.You file all your documents (4-D slips, photostats copies of land titles,
"555" note book, utilities bills, unpaid invoices, football bets and
passport of your Indonesian maid) in your breast pocket till it bulges
like a gunny sack.
5. Your command of Bahasa sucks like a first class vacuum cleaner yet
you talk to your bumi friends/workers as if its your mother tongue.
-Wa punya boss Latok Lau, lu tidak tahu meh?
-apaaa.. lu olang kuak bising
-wa mau tengok lolok... mah
-saya sudah bayar leh!
-lu ada pee gee sana meh?
-kopi-o satu, jangan kuak manik oh!
6. Your command of Iban? suffice to say you only know one phrase:- "Aku
nak nemu...oh", which is enough to make your listener switch to the next
best avenue of communication ie your atrocious Bahasa